i was just only 6 years old, i could remember
how i felt when i met my grandpa for the first time.
i get jealous because my sister could speak portuguese.
and have fun with grandpa.
i couldn't.

however,
one best moment with grandpa.
when i cry; my grandpa would pick me up
and speaks in portuguese, i couldn't understand.
but, only his eye that i could understand.
he loves me.
no matter what,
even when i'm really mischievous
or done something and breaks grandpa's thing
that he cares most.

one morning, i woke up.
my mom cried, i asked what wrong?
she explained, i couldn't understand.
i was just 6 years old.
until i saw grandpa in ambulance.
i asked mom, "what wrong with grandpa?"
he's sick, that all my mom could say.
i felt left out.
i ran to the small barn, where my grandpa usually works at.
and sit down, hopping everything will be better.

until the last day, that i'm about leaving to canada.
i was too excited
too excited gets to see daddy
too excited to gets back on my normal bed.
but, only one thing that i wasn't excited for.
leaving the farms, leaving the donkey and didn't have chance to say goodbye grandpa.
i didn't had the chances because he's in hospital and sick.


one of the horrible moment,
dad picked me up early at friend's place,
i asked what wrong? why it's so early?
he didn't say anything.

finally home, walked in the kitchen.
everyone's eye full of tear.
i couldn't understand why.
i looked at dad, and "why?"
dad said, "sweetie, grandpa is with angels"
i stood for awhile.
i tired to stay strong.
but word i spills,
"is grandpa dead?"
mom stood up, "yes." and left.
i couldn't understand what going on.
i couldn't understand why so soon.
i hardly remember his face.
i hardly remember everything at that moment.

now, as sixteen years old.
i wish he could wait longer.
i never had the chance to say goodbye,
i never had the chance to get know about him.
i never had the chance to listen the story that he wanted to tell.
he never had the chance to see me growing up.

but still, i'll always remember one of the moment ever been.